This post is for me, but I don’t mind if you read. It is a stress break and processing of my uneasiness.
My girl is home sick and will miss her first Cross Country meet. I got ready and went to my doctor’s appointment only to find out that was rescheduled for next month. I have LOTS of writing and painting to do. And, this isn’t the writing that I “should” be doing.
What I have learned is that creativity breeds creativity and sometimes the wisest thing is to clear your head. In the same way that when you’ve had a fight with your family, there is debris in the air and it helps to clear it, so that everyone can function better. My head wants to engage Circumstances and that triggers Emotions to come on in to the party and before long, and I’m benched–useless–to do the things that I need to do.
So short and sweet. No studio today; I’m benched because my girl is home sick. Rather than act like a victim, I went to my tent (that is like the equivalent of a time out.). It is 75 degrees and gorgeous outside! I took the time to find an extension cord, to blow up air mattress. But, one wouldn’t do it. So, I found two. Oh, how I love my husband. He provides for nearly every situation, and generally, is organized so I can find things.
Air mattress pumped back up–check! One down. Now, to get my computer plugged in. Oops, my girl in automatic mode, locked me out. Again, husband saves the day with our code pad. I’m in and on my way out with my laptop (eventually, it works, see I’m typing!). However, there is a problem. It requires three holes not two. Grrr. The Green one has three, so I switch them around and now the orange one one won’t work. Back to the garage. Thankfully, there are more extension cords (read “good husband” here.)! I get a third extension cord; this one is green with three holes and thingies and I have to trade in the pretty orange one with two holes. Yes, I know there is a proper word, like grounded, but this is suppose to be a quick post and I’m setting a boundary with myself and I’m not taking the time to look it up.
Determination and power. Now, I have power for my laptop too. My friend called and prayed for me. While she is on the phone–and I am not kidding–my favorite bird shows up!!! It is a yellow bird, I think it is called a Goldfinch. When I have seen them, they have been special times and I feel like God is saying, “I see you.” And, I know He does. He created me, creative AND emotional. I’ve had to learn to be friends with both of those character traits.
He knows why I am sitting in this tent. Sometimes I feel closer to Him when I am outside. As I’ve aged, for good or for bad, I’ve lost some of my sense of adventure and risk-taking. Along with that, my a lot of spontaneity. I count the costs. I mean, I really count the costs. And, when I am tired,too often the idea is done before it gets off the ground.
Not today. I’ve succeeded. My mood is better, I have fresh air in my lungs. I am sitting in the middle of a tent in a beautiful yard, in a great neighborhood and there is a refreshing breeze that is soothing. And the bird. Bonus. God showed me that He is at the party too.
My daughter will get better. We will continue to learn to deal with disappointments, but with His help, I want to teach her to look for Him, to know Him, and His ways.
This post was for me, but I hope that next time you are tempted to despair, do something to redirect yourself. The bonus is, like me, you might just experience God in the process.